Running on empty.... - Novacaine For The Soul
Mar. 30th, 2011
09:30 pm - Running on empty....
Another lovely week of not having a single day off, punctuated by excessive research that I am very much behind on and still procrastinating with. These past ten days have been interesting and eye opening to say the least, the information that I have processed this week in both my personal as well as work life have left me in an absolute funk that is making me blue. It's not going anywhere.
I feel as though I have been at this crossroads before, and that I am liable to take the same path, except that one I am more aware of what I'm doing. The problem, however, is that I don't know why I'm making a decision when I know the outcome. Is it the predictability, the safety of knowing, or is it because I want to be proven wrong. The writings on the wall are there but I can't be sure because some words have two meanings. So, in light of the events of the past week as well as this one, I am going to hold off on all decision making regarding my personal life and let it marinade until I have an answer about my exact feelings towards this; I already know what my reaction will be and exactly how I'm going to handle the situation, well maybe not exactly, but it's definitely not a passive aggressive response. I will not be an emotional pendulum swinging wildly. I will ABSOLUTELY not let someone get the best of me.